I use TADST too. Fair warning it needs an update (some of the options don't work, such as waypoints always fade no matter what setting you use). But all in all it gets the job done.

I usually see two instances of the server. I have no idea why. I usually choose the last one in the list and it works as it should.

For persistence, make sure your mission has the DATA and Player Data module, and that all modules with persistence options (a ton of them have a yes or no toggle, such as CQB, Military Commander, etc. Look at them all). In TADST, make sure you set up an Admin password, and that you've followed the War Room server setup instructions.

Your server needs to be running @aliveserver. Your client doesn't not load this, FYI. Just the server.

When in the player select screen, log in as admin.

Open the console with / and type #login yourpassword and click enter

When you select your player slot, you will see "Admin" written next to your username.

For data to persist, use the server save and exit option in the esc screen.

To load persistent data, keep the mission PBO name the same. ALiVE persistent data uses your mission PBO name. So if you want to start the mission over, simply rename the mission PBO in your MP Missions folder.